Will and Maddy are two people who are just amazing and leave you feeling full relationally once you leave them. I remember their session being so full of laughter and stories that just left my heart high after leaving them. It also helped that they stopped before heading home to hold hands and pray over me because my husband and I were about to relocate our ministry from Norfolk to Blacksburg.
We started their session at the MacArthur Memorial in downtown Norfolk and ended up with Maddy in a beautiful tulle skirt on top of a parking garage (you know me and my parking garage obsession). It was an incredible time of laughter, jokes and a sweet, sweet romance.
Since it’s been almost a year since this session, I asked Maddy if she would share something with us about what marriage has taught her so far… and this is what she had to say:
“Marriage is sacred and something I think is taken on oh too lightly in today’s culture. There are not a lot of people out there who talks about how hard it is. My husband and I will be married for 2 WHOLE years on the 18th of June. And in our almost two years, here is the one thing I wish was talked about more:
Don’t let evil win- And by evil I do mean Satan. Satan’s goal is to break our marriages up- it’s a fact. Usually, in marriage, there is one spouse who feels more responsible for things- bills, peacemaking or chasing after fights, household chores. When there is conflict, and we sit with it, withdraw from it, and choose to not confront it, evil wins. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, or who made up first after the last fight, confront it. And that may look like different things to different people. To us that looks like asking for help and committing to counseling on a regular basis. We are human and we can’t do things without the strength of Christ – so why are you trying to?
Going to counseling doesn’t mean that you suck, or that your think your relationship is doomed, it’s a tangible way to not let space build up. William and I communicate is very different ways and so it really helps us to have someone play the “referee” or “translator” to make sure we are hearing each other.
I know too many people, who are strong Christians, who are now divorced, because they didn’t commit, TOGETHER, to work through things. Isn’t that what your vows are for when you got married? Take them seriously. Don’t let evil win.
If you are looking for a Christian, gospel centered therapist, google Hopewell Equipping and Counseling Ministries. They can do Skype and in person sessions. (757)333-1548″.
I couldn’t agree with her more. Counseling is invaluable and an incredible way invest in your marriage. I have a friend who is a marriage and family therapist who even recommends that couples try to come in for a one year checkup each year just to make sure things are going well! The more of us that enjoy and celebrate counseling – the less weird stigma it has and the more healthy people and marriages we are able to celebrate.